Taking The Training Wheels Off...Again

Last week, out of the blue, I decided I was done with Medifast.

It dawned on me that I had been on the plan for six months. SIX MONTHS! And, while it was an incredible -- and I mean incredible -- aid to my overall weight loss (I lost 69 pounds on the plan!)...I was starting to let it become a crutch and it was also beginning to undermine my intended path to wellness.

So, I'm taking the training wheels off of my diet again and going it alone -- for the rest of my life. Just 43 pounds to go! Sure, it'll take me a little longer to get there, but I know I'm doing what's right for me. 

When I started Medifast, I was just under 300 pounds and, while I was working out pretty regularly, I wasn't working out all that hard -- at least not in retrospect. Honestly, carrying that much weight, how could I have worked out that hard without blowing out my knees? Still, weigh as much as I did, it also didn't take nearly as much effort to burn a boatload of calories...since any effort required moving a hell of a lot more person to accomplish the feat.

When I've been fit in the past, I've always loved working out. Scratch that. Hated working out. Loved the feeling that came with it. That feeling always propelled me to work out an "extra five minutes" which occasionally turned into ten...and sometimes even became a second workout later in the day. 

Last week, that feeling came back to me...for the first time since 2001. The problem: I was on Medifast. 

See, on Medifast, you're quite literally fasting (hence the name). It's all very scientific and genius...you deprive your body of carbs/fuel in a very controlled and sneaky way and it's left to tap into the only source of energy it has available -- fat! The only downside is that it's quite a delicate balance, this trick you're playing on your body, and if you work out too much or too hard (they recommend 45 minutes tops/day), you could send your body reeling into starvation mode...and could harm yourself in the process, all without burning that wretched fat. Kind of defeats the purpose of working out, no?

Here's the crazy shit that was swirling around in my brain last week: "But...but...I want to work out. I want my muscles to be sleek and toned. I want that fat to burn off super fast, yes...but...I want to work out. I'm dying here on this couch. I need to..."

So, rather abruptly and kind of against the plan I had set out for myself leading up to the wedding...I quit Medifast cold turkey and went back to healthy eating...and I started working out longer and with a hell of a lot more effort. 

Now, here's the other reason M-fasters will think I'm insane: I quit without transitioning out of the plan. Medifast, and arguably rightly so, STRONGLY encourages clients to slowly transition out of the diet and into healthier eating. Here's why I skipped the transition: A.) I missed eating and cooking healthy foods; B.) I'd already been eating smaller, healthier meals before even going onto Medifast; something most Medifasters can't claim. Most Medifasters go right from their bad eating habits onto the plan. I had already lost 68 pounds completely on my own prior to starting the plan...so, I already have the tools I need to survive in the real eating world; C.) Medifast is f-ing expensive, y'all! 

Now it's off to work out! Here's my latest favorite: http://www.amazon.com/Power-Fusion-Ellen-Barrett/dp/B005OMN9E8

Still Shrinking

As you can see from the sidebar from MyFitnessPal over there on the left, I'm still shrinking away. 83 pounds now. Pretty certain that unless I have a leg amputated between now and 12/31, my unrealistic goal of 100 pounds lost in 2011 isn't going to happen - but 90 would make me crazy happy...and I'm pretty sure I can do it!

Medifast is easier than I thought. For as much as I'm paying for it, it damn well better be, right? I've lost 15 pounds on the plan since I started on November 4th. That's pretty friggin remarkable, if you ask me. It definitely knocked me off of the plateau I had been on (I was losing less than a pound a week - which wouldn't be an awful thing if I didn't have so much left to lose).

I've been working out at about 85% of what I had been doing before -- since my calories are so reduced, I don't want to go into starvation mode. Honestly, for as much as I really don't enjoy working out - it's been a nice reprieve. Plus, it's what I'm supposed to be doing, so I can't feel the least bit guilty either.

Giving up alcohol is also not nearly as tough as I thought it would be. On the plan, you just can't drink. It makes sense, since booze are so carbolicious and the calories are empty. I go out a LOT since I manage my boyfriend's band - every weekend on average. Plus, we usually get free drinks at the gigs. It's a lot of temptation to live down - or so I thought. That being said, on New Year's Eve, I'm having a few beverages. I'll have to be careful though, since my tolerance just isn't what it used to be.

The Half Pound That Changes Everything

Today, I surpassed 75 pounds of weight loss...by a half a pound. Now, 75.5 pounds is accomplishment enough, but that it signifies the single largest amount of weight I've ever lost in one diet/lifestyle change/unified attempt...that half a pound means everything.

next stop: saddlebags!

289.5...and more revealing pants. 

I now enter new and unchartered territory. Each new pound lost signifies a new accomplishment that I have never achieved. That's not to say the last 75 haven't been gratifying - but there's something about doing better than you've ever done before that really tickles the psyche. 

I am not going to allow the fact that this hurdle was overcome thanks to the help of Medifast - something I started on Friday - take away from this achievement. I lost those first 74 fair and square.  I learned the lessons. I changed my habits, my attitude and my body. Frankly, I just don't want to spend the next 2 years losing what's left to be lost. I'm ready to start living the rest of my life now -- I know I'm ready! So, hopefully Medifast will push things along. 

I thought about Medifast throughout the past two years and could never bring myself to do it. I wasn't ready to give up alcohol. I didn't want to give up my snacks (even the healthy ones). I didn't want to surrender the bits of pieces of control and, honestly, the cheating (however small those cheats were). I wasn't ready to accept my food addiction - not completely. Now I am. And, because I have so many fewer hangups about food/control over food (and food's control over me), I'm ready for Medifast. The plan meals actually taste good and I still get to cook one healthy meal every day. I feel fueled and satisfied. I feel my new attitude about food as fuel taking a solid hold in my mind. 

Here's to the next 75!