My Grocery List Is Bananas! (And Potatoes. And Carrots, Too!)

photo credit: thedailygreen.com

Adopting a new eat-style changes everything. Take the new grocery list, for example. It's not that we skipped over the fresh produce aisle before last week. Far from it. I started this weight loss journey over a year ago and with that, my weaning off of High Fructose Corn Suicide. I had long since embraced whole foods. But, now that I'm doing the whole veg thing, I think me and the ol' leafy greens are at second base and zero-ing in on third. Seriously, there's more fresh produce on there than ANYTHING else. (I'm counting the frozen strawberries, canned garbanzos and dried split peas in that company, since, while they're not fresh, they're not exactly your run-of-the-mill processed poison either!)

Cucumbers, bananas, baby carrots, broccoli, new potatoes, oranges, onions, asparagus, lemons. Amazing.

Who am I?

As for the other foodstuffs - we've got coffee, Wacky Mac rotini, Veggie Burgers, Ragu original pasta sauce (surprisingly good, cheap and un-futzed-around with), Soy Milk, Tofuti Cuties (my favorite Faux ice cream sammie - even better than Skinny Cow), eggs (yes, I've graduated to ovo-veg now) and popsicles.

Really proud of this turnaround. Even prouder that I don't feel deprived. Honestly, the only thing I'm really missing at the moment is the hearty-ness of a good bread with a nice, warm soup. I may cave and make naan this week to go along with the split pea soup I'm making.

So, it's really the textures I'm missing more than the actual foods.

Onward and downward!

Sh*t Poison That Could Probably Kill You...Oh Well!

Thx to Lorrie at MyAllNaturalWeightLoss.com for 

sharing this first. HI-larious! 

Farewell, Moo Cow F*ck Milk and Hello, Soy Juice!

Never in a million years did I ever envision myself wearing this label!

But, here it is: after years of hearing from friends, the media and yes, even Oprah, that Veganism might be worth pursuing (at least as a means of cleansing/recalibrating my system) -  I've fast gone from curious skeptic to full-blown believer. W-O-W!

First, there are the vanity aspects. Just 5 days in and my skin looks ridiculous. It's the dead of winter and I'm glowing and barely need any moisturizer at all! On top of that, I've already lost 2 pounds. My digestion has regulated and, not to be gross, I'm pooping like clock-work up to 3x a day. (Of course, I'm also tooting like never before - but Bean-o helps to take care of that problem.)

As for the food, fortunately, I'm a veggie lover. I also really love fruit. Soy, if seasoned correctly, also works well with my body/tastebuds and satisfies the craving for protein. A lot of the foods I already eat regularly are vegan or easy to make vegan. Homemade granola + vanilla soy milk for breakfast = heaven. I heart veggie burgers with a little yellow mustard. Carrots and homemade hummus are snack crack to me. I love veggie soups. Oh, and I discovered veg-based Wacky Mac this weekend and it's pretty damn delish. I'm even actually looking forward to testing some new recipes. The only thing I'm a little wary of are the pretend meat products. Soy chicken cutlets aren't made of chicken - wtf? I don't know if I need to seek out pretend meat in order to feel truly satisfied. Still, I'm willing to try all of it. Besides, I'm already drinking "soy juice" masking itself as soy milk. Gotta love this Lewis Black bit from which the title of this post was born: 

In terms of the ethics, I come from a family with dairy farming past and, in one case, present. I have no illusions about my place on the food chain and that some animals are put on this earth to quite literally sustain the lives of other animals. I also have no ethical qualms about humanely slaughtering animals for such puposes (ie: Temple Grandin style slaughterhouses are fine with me). I also  have no intention of shunning meat or dairy from my life completely.  I will not give up fish or sushi. I can't imagine my life without my dad's Oyster Stew come Christmas Eve. 

Still, just a few days without what in retrospect was at least 3-5 servings of meat/cheese on average (milk at breakfast, yogurt at lunch, grated cheese on pasta/lean meats at dinner, butter on bread or eggs in baked goods) - I am really intrigued by how great I feel and am interested to see where this leads. 

I'll keep y'all posted. Let me know if you have had experience with vegan/vegetarianism yourself - or if you think this is just another primrose path to wellness ;-)

Should I or Shouldn't I?

For years, I've loathed the idea of Weight Watchers. More of an analytical type, the whole idea of applying a points value to something sorta kinda pisses me off. Calories, fat, carbs, protein, science - that I get. But what's a point? How does it work inside of my body?
Why? Why? Why?

I am such a pain in the ass about stuff like this. It's genetic, really. (Those of you who know my family will be able to attest to this with rapid-fire examples.) I need more than just an arbitrary explanation of things.

Oh, and don't get me started on their horrendous "foods". The so-called diet crap like sugar-free, fat-free muffin tops that somehow taste good (wtf?) and micro-meals that have little to no nutritional value and don't pass as being food in my not so humble opinion. Yeah, and they frickin let you eat pizza! I mean, okay, yes, pizza is an important food group when you're PMS-ing, stressed or watching football, but I consider that a major cheat and would rather keep it in the naughty corner instead of bringing it out into the light. When I'm cheating I know that I'm cheating and quite frankly, I need the guilt to get me back on the wagon the next day.

I know, I know. My mind ain't right.

Still, what I think I might NEED from the Weight Watchers cult phenomenon is the pressure. The pressure of the weigh-ins. The face-to-face meetings and getting to know other fatties in the fight. I have a Facebook group called Wishful Shrinking that provided that to me for a while and is still amazing and valid and a great place to meet up - but let's face facts. When your fellow weight loss warriors are spread all across the globe, it's easy to shirk your responsibilities and push away the pressure. So what if I haven't reported a loss in months. They can't see how fat my ass looks in these pants!

As wonky as my reasons might be to some, they make sense to me. Still, there's something about Weight Watchers that creeps me out. Maybe it's my Catholic upbringing and resulting aversion to joining anything with rituals and a collective consciousness. I dunno. But I really do need more pressure in my life to keep forging ahead.

Then, in the midst of writing this post and researching the organization, I come across stories like the one below and begin again to wonder...can I really join something (and spend money on something) that's kinda part of the problem? A Filet-O-Fish? Really, New Zealand? Really? The wrap and salad might be okay - I guess - except for the fact that they have hundreds more calories in them than anything a home cook would ever dare make. Honestly! McDonalds?

http://www.dietsinreview.com/diet_column/03/mcdonalds-now-offering-weight-watchers-approved-meals-in-new-zealand/

I'm so friggin' conflicted.

Move Over Kashi - There's A New Bar In Town!

One of the more exciting aspects of eating healthier - at least for me - is the opportunity to discover new foods and, more importantly, how to make them as delicious and nutritious as possible. It's also kind of neat to find out that many of the healthy foods I enjoy most aren't nearly as difficult to make as I assumed they were.

Take granola, for example.

Granola bars are absurdly easy to make. What's more, they're ridiculously easy to make even healthier than the uber-healthy ones in your health food aisle at the supermarket.

I've made the stuff so many times now, that I don't even bother with a recipe. I kind of just know what I'm going for. But, here's the recipe I use - it's a modified version of 'Chewy Granola Bars' on AllRecipes.com. Agave is a great natural sweetener (it's from the same plant used to make tequila) and has kind of the same consistency as maple syrup only it's much lower in calories. It also helps to hold everything together. Of course, I use some honey for that granola-y flavor - just a lot less since holy hell it's got a lot of calories in it! I also add the Rice Puff Cereal to make them, well, puffier. It's sort of like a granola bar and a rice crispy treat got it on in your oven. Feel free to skip them and just use all oats if you like a more traditional bar.

Guilt-Free Granola

2 1/2 cups rolled oats
2 cups Organic Puffed Rice Cereal (HFCS-free)
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ cup Splenda
2 teaspoons cinnamon
2/3 cup I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter Light
1 Tbsp Honey
½ Cup Agave Nectar/Syrup

(Feel free to add raisins, craisins, carob, other dried fruits and nuts for your perfect bar)

Directions:

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Spray a rimmed baking sheet (or two, depending on how thick you like your bars) with all-natural non-stick spray. In a large mixing bowl combine the oats, flour, baking soda, cinnamon, rice cereal, agave, honey and Splenda. Stir in any fruits, nuts, etc.

Lightly press mixture into the prepared pan. Bake at 325 degrees F (165 degrees C) for 18 to 22 minutes or until golden brown. Darker color = crunchier bars. Remove from oven and lightly cut ‘guide-lines’ into bars with pizza cutter while still hot. You may need to treat the cutter with non-stick cooking spray. Allow bars to cool in the pan and begin to set for about 10 minutes. Cut again – this time, more thoroughly. Let cool completely. Remove and serve.

Yield: about 3-5 dozen bars (depending on thickness).

Eating & Losing Weight - Can I Really Have It All?

Last month, I got lucky. Really, really lucky.

Courtesy of a contest through Relish Magazine, I won just about everything my kitchen was missing: a microplane zester, a new bakeware set, a new ginormous crock pot, a Le Creuset French Oven and...a KITCHENAID STAND MIXER!

(I bet you thought I was going to post about getting lucky...ha! Well, I did, but that's not the point...get your minds out of the gutter, will ya!)

Back to my fully stocked kitchen--

If you have a mixer and enjoy cooking, you will completely understand the rest of this post. If not, well, I kind of feel sorry for you. This mixer has filled a void in my life I never knew existed. It's also stirred up a little panic: now that I'm back on the whole eating to live and not living to eat bandwagon, am I only going to make granola and bran muffins with this glorious machine? Am I never going to be able to experience the joys of the many attachments like the pasta maker or the ice cream maker?

Hell no!

If I am ever going to succeed PERMANENTLY in weight loss and healthy living, I need to figure out a way to embrace my omnivorous constitution. (Can you tell I'm reading Michael Pollen's books right now?) Seriously though...I have tried to deprive myself of sweets, fats, carbs and whatever else has been temporarily relegated to "it'll make you fat and kill you" status by the brilliant diet industry scientists; scientists who know surprisingly little about the complexity of food, nutrition and the constant craving that comes from cutting any of it out of your life completely.

Depriving myself (at least drastically) has never worked long-term - not for me. It's always resulted in me giving up out of frustration and the fear that I will have to shun some of my favorite flavors and textures for the rest of my life in order to be thin. On top of that, I think it propagates the notion that to be overweight is something for which you must be punished. As if looking into the mirror wasn't punishment enough. Society needs to get the hell over it already.

I'm no dummy. I know that veggies are better for me than poundcake. I know that I have to eat more complex carbs than empty calories. It's not even about sweets and fats versus veggies and lean proteins. I can eat a tomato like an apple and enjoy the hell out of raw spinach too. My problem is the compulsion to eat mass quantities of whatever is most pleasing to my palate at the moment of opportunity - that moment of weakness when I'm feeling down and sad or happy and celebratory. I need to learn to recognize why I'm eating, not just what.

The first step: I made a batch of oatmeal banana cookies on Sunday. I ate six over the course of 36 hours and shared the rest with my boyfriend. I enjoyed the cookies. I enjoyed baking them. I tamped down the compulsion to eat more than I should have and survived.  I figured out that I was bored and not hungry at some points when I felt the pull towards the cookie jar. I then got up and found something to do that didn't involve eating. This was easy because I wasn't in an extreme state of mental duress...and it's just the sort of training I need for when that feeling comes calling once again.

I've heard of food addictions being compared to alcoholism and drug addictions. I've had heated arguments about why I think this is an oversimplified assessment. You don't need alcohol or heroin to survive. You need food. Maybe not Snickers bars...but an occasional oatmeal cookie to satisfy a sugar craving? There's plenty else in that cookie that will nourish your body. I need to learn to marry nutrition with the joy of cooking, the joy of eating and the guilt that comes from eating anything at all.  I can compromise, sure - but all or nothing? F*** that!

Instead of bargaining with myself, depriving myself and dancing around the issues at the root of my over-indulgence and self-mutilation (after all, that's what allowing yourself to become obese is!), I need to learn to peacefully co-exist with food...and with my mixer.

My beautiful and glorious mixer.