121...59 to go!

Last week, we went on a much-MUUUUUCH needed vacation. Between Gabe's father passing away and the sadness and stress that comes after it, plus the stress of planning a wedding, a honeymoon, budgeting for it, ups and downs at work and some health and dental issues...dude, it was either Hilton Head or The Cuckoo's Nest.

In the weeks preceding, I flip-flopped quite a bit on whether or not to stay on my diet religiously while on vacation. That quickly flew out of the window after the first day of our drive. I was so tired and so flipping hungry that I splurged at Perkins for a burger with no bun and a side salad. FOR SHAME! I'm such a rebel.

Of course, I then proceeded to splurge a bit more and veer off of the low carb path quite a bit...lots of sushi rice, lots of pasta and booze, lots and lots of yummy goodness. That said, if I were who I was just a few years ago, very little of what I ate would have impressed me in the least, at least not in terms of its indulgence factor. Lots of salads, lean meats and veggies and reasonable portions, even. Still, it wasn't the diet of someone trying to lose weight.

I figured if I worked out, kept to a reasonable diet for a normal person and worked out some more, the worst thing that would happen is that I'd gain a bit of water weight without sacrificing any muscle tone. So, I spent a lot of time at the vacation club's gym and did some of my yoga/pilates workouts in our condo...we even rented bikes, but got so busy that we hardly even used them. Next year, we'll bike more. Hilton Head has over 50 miles of bike paths - it's really quite amazing.

Well praise the weight loss gods, it worked! I gained about 8-10 pounds (depending on what scale I'm going by) while on vacay...and that's as of Sunday morning. Today, I'm down that 8 and another 4.5. That's 121 pounds total now. So, it was all water weight (which I kept telling myself over and over on Sunday so as not to have a panic attack.) Guess I really shocked my metabolism good!

Here's hoping that this is the start of my final push to my wedding body. Just 59 pounds to go!

'The Wagon' Isn't A Trolley...

...so why do I feel I can just keep hopping on and off?

Alas, this is yet another in what I suspect will be a long line of intermittent re-dedication blog posts. Having fallen off of the weight loss wagon yet again to go on a much needed vacation, I'm back to feeling like a jackass for all of the delectable desserts and decadent dinners I inhaled whilst in Hilton Head last week. Honestly though, I wasn't really too bad on the island--it was the road food from the likes of McDonalds, 7-11 and Ruby Tuesdays on the 4 driving days to and from that really did me in. I fell back in love with Combos too. Good God, those things are amazing.



Fortunately, the scale doesn't tell as disastrous a tale as the recesses of my mind have lead my self-esteem to believe. Chew on that sentence for a bit.

Even though I haven't gained nearly as much weight as I feel like I have (or should have), I still feel like an obese orca. I wonder if there is such a thing. And, if I'm being completely honest with myself, even with the starting of this blog and the mantras and affirmations and exercise, I haven't really truly re-dedicated myself to weight loss. If I had, I'd be seeing results instead of stagnation. I'd be feeling more sure of myself and more motivated. I'd be down a pants size (at least) by now.

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the changes I have to make (again), the work I have to do (again) and the sacrifices that are necessary to be healthy (have I ever really been healthy?).

With the best and most relaxing vacation of my life now behind me, it's time to get back to reality and back on the shrinking train. Maybe I should stop looking at the scenery and move up to the conductor's car.

Maybe I should find another metaphor. This one is really wearing on me. Suggestions?