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Friday, March 11, 2011

Building Muscle...Losing My MIND!

Really proud of myself. No, really. After quite the hiatus, I've managed to work out consistently (5x per week) over the past few weeks. My body is tightening and I can really see it. My posture has also improved. My head feels clearer. I'm sleeping better.

But I haven't lost much weight.

Oh yeah, and I've been eating so clean and so consciously, it's unreal. Yesterday, I actually struggled to meet my calorie goals and had to indulge in a banana-peanut butter-soy milk shake just to make sure I was taking in enough calories from protein. This isn't something I usually have a hard time with (obviously).

Still, the scale has moved a mere 2 pounds.

cartoon courtesy of: re-imaginelife.com
I really hate the struggle between the logical and emotional lobes. I know for a fact that muscle weighs more than fat; that I've got a hell of a lot of fat to burn and turn.  Still, there's just this irrational expectation that I should have lost an enormous amount of weight by now. I've been a good girl and I deserve a reward. If it's not a piece of cake, it had damn well better be 10 pounds. Why can't I get past the numbers and just be grateful for the gifts I've already received as a result of my efforts?

I know it will come but I just wanted to vent...partly because it seems to help whenever I put my unreasonable thoughts into words...partly because I'm really and truly upset in spite of myself.

At least I'm not eating to numb the pain...yet!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain! It's hard to explain. I put the work in every day. I am constantly thinking about food, exercise, etc. I have great days and not great days. I know that I need to consistently have great days to see movement on the scale, but it still irks me that I am not getting anything back. Argh! Hang in there!

Shan said...

Exactly! I have been weighing myself daily just to make sure it's not going in the wrong direction as I embark on my new eating/working out regimen. Thing is, I really shouldn't be doing this to myself because a) I'm tracking my calories and know exactly what's going in/what's being burned off and b) see above post! I think I need to just force myself to scale back on the scale! Easier said than done for an addictive/Type A personality! You hang in there too! Let me know if you figure out a way to strike a sane balance!!!

Lori from Dynasty Brush said...

Don't be upset--you are doing so well!

Stacey said...

You're not alone, we're all in it with you!! It's hard to acknowledge non scale victories when you really have such high expectations for the number to drop because you KNOW you have been doing exactly what you should. It's like a bad science experiment. Hang in there...you're doing so great eating healthy and working out...you will be rewarded :)

Shan said...

Thanks, all! My time of the month came a few days early - a nice reminder that sometimes (a lot of the time), it's all in my head! :-)

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