FINALLY!

This just in! I worked out for 45 minutes. Bike, free weights, situps.

That is all. Go on about your day.

Farewell, Moo Cow F*ck Milk and Hello, Soy Juice!

Never in a million years did I ever envision myself wearing this label!

But, here it is: after years of hearing from friends, the media and yes, even Oprah, that Veganism might be worth pursuing (at least as a means of cleansing/recalibrating my system) -  I've fast gone from curious skeptic to full-blown believer. W-O-W!

First, there are the vanity aspects. Just 5 days in and my skin looks ridiculous. It's the dead of winter and I'm glowing and barely need any moisturizer at all! On top of that, I've already lost 2 pounds. My digestion has regulated and, not to be gross, I'm pooping like clock-work up to 3x a day. (Of course, I'm also tooting like never before - but Bean-o helps to take care of that problem.)

As for the food, fortunately, I'm a veggie lover. I also really love fruit. Soy, if seasoned correctly, also works well with my body/tastebuds and satisfies the craving for protein. A lot of the foods I already eat regularly are vegan or easy to make vegan. Homemade granola + vanilla soy milk for breakfast = heaven. I heart veggie burgers with a little yellow mustard. Carrots and homemade hummus are snack crack to me. I love veggie soups. Oh, and I discovered veg-based Wacky Mac this weekend and it's pretty damn delish. I'm even actually looking forward to testing some new recipes. The only thing I'm a little wary of are the pretend meat products. Soy chicken cutlets aren't made of chicken - wtf? I don't know if I need to seek out pretend meat in order to feel truly satisfied. Still, I'm willing to try all of it. Besides, I'm already drinking "soy juice" masking itself as soy milk. Gotta love this Lewis Black bit from which the title of this post was born: 

In terms of the ethics, I come from a family with dairy farming past and, in one case, present. I have no illusions about my place on the food chain and that some animals are put on this earth to quite literally sustain the lives of other animals. I also have no ethical qualms about humanely slaughtering animals for such puposes (ie: Temple Grandin style slaughterhouses are fine with me). I also  have no intention of shunning meat or dairy from my life completely.  I will not give up fish or sushi. I can't imagine my life without my dad's Oyster Stew come Christmas Eve. 

Still, just a few days without what in retrospect was at least 3-5 servings of meat/cheese on average (milk at breakfast, yogurt at lunch, grated cheese on pasta/lean meats at dinner, butter on bread or eggs in baked goods) - I am really intrigued by how great I feel and am interested to see where this leads. 

I'll keep y'all posted. Let me know if you have had experience with vegan/vegetarianism yourself - or if you think this is just another primrose path to wellness ;-)

Confessions Of A Lethargic Mind

So...

I haven't worked out in a while. Like a WHILE a while. And it's not from lack of opportunity either. First off, I work at home and can work out pretty much whenever I want because I make my own hours. Second, I have a Wii Fit, a Nordic Track, an exercise bike and an exercise ball with a resistance band. Oh, and the apartment community where we live even has a fully stocked gym that we can access for free!

Unfortunately, if I'm being truly honest, I haven't worked out like I really meant it in months. Sure, I got on the bike and did a little pedaling a few times. I lifted some weights. I did a few sit-ups. But, the regular, daily exercise...hell, I don't think I've really committed to it since before our LAST vacation in late September.

I've been eating well for the most part though. I've been making meals and snacks, eating lots of veggies and fruit and haven't been mindlessly munching away the days like I used to. That's precisely why my weight loss situation is more stagnant than a complete reversal.

Still, without the regular workouts, the weight has been steadily creeping back on.

So, why am I still sitting here? Why am I not working out? It is completely mad! I want to feel better. I want to look better. I'm already sacrificing on my diet (though, I'm so used to it now that it rarely feels like sacrifice unless I have a raging case of PMS). Why in the hell can't I manage 30-45 measly minutes of cardio a day plus a little resistance work here and there?

I know I'm not the only one who's legs turn to lead at the mere thought of exercise! What gets you going when you're stuck in a serious rut? I know that once I've done it for a few days straight that I'll be able to sustain it - at least for a while - but how do I just get UP?!?!?

I feel insane having written this. Completely out of my gourd. But, it's the truth and it's what I'm grappling with. Would love to hear others' perspectives.

Thanks for bearing witness to my wackadooyness!

Should I or Shouldn't I?

For years, I've loathed the idea of Weight Watchers. More of an analytical type, the whole idea of applying a points value to something sorta kinda pisses me off. Calories, fat, carbs, protein, science - that I get. But what's a point? How does it work inside of my body?
Why? Why? Why?

I am such a pain in the ass about stuff like this. It's genetic, really. (Those of you who know my family will be able to attest to this with rapid-fire examples.) I need more than just an arbitrary explanation of things.

Oh, and don't get me started on their horrendous "foods". The so-called diet crap like sugar-free, fat-free muffin tops that somehow taste good (wtf?) and micro-meals that have little to no nutritional value and don't pass as being food in my not so humble opinion. Yeah, and they frickin let you eat pizza! I mean, okay, yes, pizza is an important food group when you're PMS-ing, stressed or watching football, but I consider that a major cheat and would rather keep it in the naughty corner instead of bringing it out into the light. When I'm cheating I know that I'm cheating and quite frankly, I need the guilt to get me back on the wagon the next day.

I know, I know. My mind ain't right.

Still, what I think I might NEED from the Weight Watchers cult phenomenon is the pressure. The pressure of the weigh-ins. The face-to-face meetings and getting to know other fatties in the fight. I have a Facebook group called Wishful Shrinking that provided that to me for a while and is still amazing and valid and a great place to meet up - but let's face facts. When your fellow weight loss warriors are spread all across the globe, it's easy to shirk your responsibilities and push away the pressure. So what if I haven't reported a loss in months. They can't see how fat my ass looks in these pants!

As wonky as my reasons might be to some, they make sense to me. Still, there's something about Weight Watchers that creeps me out. Maybe it's my Catholic upbringing and resulting aversion to joining anything with rituals and a collective consciousness. I dunno. But I really do need more pressure in my life to keep forging ahead.

Then, in the midst of writing this post and researching the organization, I come across stories like the one below and begin again to wonder...can I really join something (and spend money on something) that's kinda part of the problem? A Filet-O-Fish? Really, New Zealand? Really? The wrap and salad might be okay - I guess - except for the fact that they have hundreds more calories in them than anything a home cook would ever dare make. Honestly! McDonalds?

http://www.dietsinreview.com/diet_column/03/mcdonalds-now-offering-weight-watchers-approved-meals-in-new-zealand/

I'm so friggin' conflicted.

Move Over Kashi - There's A New Bar In Town!

One of the more exciting aspects of eating healthier - at least for me - is the opportunity to discover new foods and, more importantly, how to make them as delicious and nutritious as possible. It's also kind of neat to find out that many of the healthy foods I enjoy most aren't nearly as difficult to make as I assumed they were.

Take granola, for example.

Granola bars are absurdly easy to make. What's more, they're ridiculously easy to make even healthier than the uber-healthy ones in your health food aisle at the supermarket.

I've made the stuff so many times now, that I don't even bother with a recipe. I kind of just know what I'm going for. But, here's the recipe I use - it's a modified version of 'Chewy Granola Bars' on AllRecipes.com. Agave is a great natural sweetener (it's from the same plant used to make tequila) and has kind of the same consistency as maple syrup only it's much lower in calories. It also helps to hold everything together. Of course, I use some honey for that granola-y flavor - just a lot less since holy hell it's got a lot of calories in it! I also add the Rice Puff Cereal to make them, well, puffier. It's sort of like a granola bar and a rice crispy treat got it on in your oven. Feel free to skip them and just use all oats if you like a more traditional bar.

Guilt-Free Granola

2 1/2 cups rolled oats
2 cups Organic Puffed Rice Cereal (HFCS-free)
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ cup Splenda
2 teaspoons cinnamon
2/3 cup I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter Light
1 Tbsp Honey
½ Cup Agave Nectar/Syrup

(Feel free to add raisins, craisins, carob, other dried fruits and nuts for your perfect bar)

Directions:

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Spray a rimmed baking sheet (or two, depending on how thick you like your bars) with all-natural non-stick spray. In a large mixing bowl combine the oats, flour, baking soda, cinnamon, rice cereal, agave, honey and Splenda. Stir in any fruits, nuts, etc.

Lightly press mixture into the prepared pan. Bake at 325 degrees F (165 degrees C) for 18 to 22 minutes or until golden brown. Darker color = crunchier bars. Remove from oven and lightly cut ‘guide-lines’ into bars with pizza cutter while still hot. You may need to treat the cutter with non-stick cooking spray. Allow bars to cool in the pan and begin to set for about 10 minutes. Cut again – this time, more thoroughly. Let cool completely. Remove and serve.

Yield: about 3-5 dozen bars (depending on thickness).

'The Wagon' Isn't A Trolley...

...so why do I feel I can just keep hopping on and off?

Alas, this is yet another in what I suspect will be a long line of intermittent re-dedication blog posts. Having fallen off of the weight loss wagon yet again to go on a much needed vacation, I'm back to feeling like a jackass for all of the delectable desserts and decadent dinners I inhaled whilst in Hilton Head last week. Honestly though, I wasn't really too bad on the island--it was the road food from the likes of McDonalds, 7-11 and Ruby Tuesdays on the 4 driving days to and from that really did me in. I fell back in love with Combos too. Good God, those things are amazing.



Fortunately, the scale doesn't tell as disastrous a tale as the recesses of my mind have lead my self-esteem to believe. Chew on that sentence for a bit.

Even though I haven't gained nearly as much weight as I feel like I have (or should have), I still feel like an obese orca. I wonder if there is such a thing. And, if I'm being completely honest with myself, even with the starting of this blog and the mantras and affirmations and exercise, I haven't really truly re-dedicated myself to weight loss. If I had, I'd be seeing results instead of stagnation. I'd be feeling more sure of myself and more motivated. I'd be down a pants size (at least) by now.

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the changes I have to make (again), the work I have to do (again) and the sacrifices that are necessary to be healthy (have I ever really been healthy?).

With the best and most relaxing vacation of my life now behind me, it's time to get back to reality and back on the shrinking train. Maybe I should stop looking at the scenery and move up to the conductor's car.

Maybe I should find another metaphor. This one is really wearing on me. Suggestions?