Eating Back Calories - Where Do We Go From Here?

I am really struggling with the idea of eating back all of the calories I burn off - the ones that put me well under my daily calorie goal, that is. With all of the tracking of calories, nutrition and fitness burn-off, it's tempting to think that my daily calorie deficits (often into the negatives) might add up to some major weight loss by the end of the week. That's obviously not the case. And, while I might not feel like I'm starving - especially with all of the fiber I'm taking in - clearly, my body is going into starvation mode.

Why else would someone my size who now eats (often considerably) less than 1700 calories per day and works out for 45-60 minutes 5x a week with a mix of fairly intense cardio and strength training be struggling to lose weight?

Duh.

Still, it's hard to force myself to eat more. First off, I don't want to eat more. I work so hard every day to eat consciously that sometimes, I'm just friggin' exhausted by it all. By the end of the day, I am seriously just done. I don't want to think about it anymore. I don't want to track. I don't want to consider what's best for my body. I just want to tune out.

I am actually looking at my evening glass o' fiber as a nice final "snack" for the day. It's 90 calories. It fills me up. It temporarily 'slays' that mindless munching demon possessing the recesses of my mind.

I don't need a trainer...I need Giles. Ugh.

Anyway, I think my eating and fitness habits are actually ahead of my body. It's like I've reached the finish line with my lifestyle and my body is just struggling to catch up. I am also afraid that if I eat more or work out less, the balance I've struck will all fall to shit.

Maybe I should just keep on keepin' on. Maybe the muscle I'm building week by week will boost my metabolism eventually and this will all balance out on my terms.

Regardless, I feel better. I look better. I'm more in control. The weight will come off eventually and I know it. And, as my body shrinks, the amount of calories I burn when working out will go down - helping to smooth this disparity out.

Eventually.

(P.S. - Extra brownie veggie points to the geek who caught the first Buffy reference in this post.)

Holy Fiber!

I don't know if I've managed to establish this yet, but I am a weird, weird individual. At least, I think I am. (What is "normal" anyway? Is it just another word for boring or predictable?)

Anyhoo, as I've been manifesting this new change of eatstyle and overall lifestyle, I've really discovered the "point" of fiber. In fact, now, every time I think of fiber, I think of this song...only I swap in "fiber".  Honestly, it kind of works...I mean, as much as the song makes sense to begin with.

(RIP Dio)

WARNING: If you're not interested in reading the scoop on poop, STOP! 

I've said this about many things in my life - from friendships and relationships to my career and beyond - but you really don't realize how miserable you were until you aren't anymore.

Take my bowel movements, for example. I never really knew what it meant to be "regular". Now I do. I can set a clock by my trips to the restroom. That "S"-shaped poo that Dr. Oz talks about - yep. That feeling of lightness and pseudo euphoria after a good poo-session - thought that was just a joke, but it's not.

Oh, and when things aren't regular - I get really, really bent out of shape about it. I backtrack over the days prior and try to figure out where I went wrong. I track how much fiber I take in and supplement if I'm afraid I'm not going to hit the mark - which for me is b/w 22-28g per day. I mean, I have a friggin fiber benchmark. Who am I?

I could go on and on, but if you're struggling to lose weight, balance your metabolism, ramp up your energy and feel cleaner and healthier ... don't discount the power of fiber. With all of the commercials touting dietary fiber and the processed foods that boast about it as an added ingredient, it's surprising how few of us actually pay attention to how much we get. PAY ATTENTION! Eat more veggies than you ever thought possible and pick up some Metamucil/Benefiber in the old people aisle at your local pharmacy.
It will change your life.

Down 44

Holy Hell do the numbers not tell the whole story. I might have "only" lost 2 pounds in the past handful of weeks, but I've shrunk into some clothes I've been hoping to get into by Spring and my body just looks so much better. I've been biking about 3-4 days a week with some XC skiing, walking and a few elliptical workouts tossed in. Things are just going along great. 

Of course, I'd LOVE to have lost more weight...but in the meantime, I'm just happy the fat's coming off! 

Still Shrinking

Sorry for the lack of posts, lately. I'm a freelance writer and I've been extremely busy these past few weeks. Considering that it's feast or famine in my line of work, that's not a complaint - just an excuse ;-)

Fortunately, I have been keeping up with the exercise, diet and tracking. I've really noticed some changes today (my clavicle is starting to show again), this week (my arms are looking sleeker), the past few weeks (as Gabe put it: "You went from having a badonk-adonk-adonk-adonk to just a badonk-adonk!" LOL!)

The scale is still messing with me - though, I am happy to say that it's less and less every day. While I am weighing myself periodically, I'm not feeling like I've been kicked in the stomach - even if the numbers don't reflect how hard I've been working or how much better I look. I also haven't taken my measurements in weeks. I'm making a concerted effort to focus less on all of the numbers and more on how I feel and how I look to MYSELF at the moment. When you have as far to go as I do, that mental recalibration seems to be of the utmost importance.

One thing that is incredibly annoying however, is my tummy. I tend to carry a lot of weight in that miserable lower ab area. What's frustrating about this is that as much as my legs, arms, badonk and waist shrink, if I don't target the lower abs, my clothes don't fit that much better. I mean, of course they do fit better...but no matter how much smaller everything else is, you've still gotta zip up the pants and try to minimize the appearance of the tummy with longer shirts and whatnot. Even when I was skinny, this area drove me nuts. While I know it isn't small by any means, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if my mind was actually blowing it out of proportion.

So, while I have been targeting my abs 2-3x/week, and I've been working to burn fat in general all over my body (cause if you're not getting rid of the fat, I've noticed that stronger ab muscles can actually make the belly even more prominent if you're not careful!)...it's just not enough. I also have to work on my posture. Just sitting up and standing up straight minimizes the look of that trouble area.

Another thing I've been doing is "sucking it in" while at work, watching tv, reading, sitting at my desk (yep, I'm doing it now). This too helps with the posture and apparently every ten seconds of suckage counts as a sit-up. Win!

Improving my posture also seems to put the "girls" back to where they belong - well, as much as they can be, now that I'm in my 30s...that should also help to pull the attention away from other less svelte spots too.

All in all, things are still progressing relatively well. I'm in a good headspace at the moment. I'm content and motivated at the same time and - for the first time in who the heck knows how long - I'm not beating myself up about what I haven't managed to accomplish yet. I'll get there if I let myself.

What Goes Up Must Come Down

Over the past 2 weeks, I have experienced consistent shrinkage (*smirk*). Every morning I wake up, look in the mirror and go, "huh. sweet! that's starting to look like a normal [enter name of fat-covered body part here]." I've also kept up with my diet - my only cheat being some non-fat fro-yo with some oh-so-fattening peanut butter cups on top at our new "16 Handles" down the street (YUM!). I've been working out consistently and with a lot of variety - bike, Nordic Track, Salsa dancing (poorly). Hell, I've even been doing sit-ups - my arch activity nemesis - courtesy of this Tummy Toning workout on Netflix, which, by the way, is evil but strangely fun.

So, imagine my horror as I get on the scale each morning to see I'm gaining weight - and not just a little bit of normal fluctuation - SIX AND A HALF POUNDS! Granted, today I'm back down 2 of those...but seriously.

I know it's all muscle. Muscle is more dense than fat. I put on muscle like a roid-raging bowflex-humping gym rat. I know that eventually things will turn and go in the opposite direction.

I know all of this.

Still, it's just evil how my mind has been conditioned to be so darn fixated on the numbers. I'm like a dog that did a trick and is now begging for a cookie. I need to get over it already and focus on the mirror. I need to just get over it already.

Honestly, after weeks of very similar posts - I think I am starting to get past the scale. I know what I'm doing is right because it feels right. My body is RESPONDING. Just because the scale doesn't reflect what's going on - that's not a true reflection of what is indeed actually happening.

Can I banish the scale for a month this time? I'm seriously thinking about it.