Eating Back Calories - Where Do We Go From Here?

I am really struggling with the idea of eating back all of the calories I burn off - the ones that put me well under my daily calorie goal, that is. With all of the tracking of calories, nutrition and fitness burn-off, it's tempting to think that my daily calorie deficits (often into the negatives) might add up to some major weight loss by the end of the week. That's obviously not the case. And, while I might not feel like I'm starving - especially with all of the fiber I'm taking in - clearly, my body is going into starvation mode.

Why else would someone my size who now eats (often considerably) less than 1700 calories per day and works out for 45-60 minutes 5x a week with a mix of fairly intense cardio and strength training be struggling to lose weight?

Duh.

Still, it's hard to force myself to eat more. First off, I don't want to eat more. I work so hard every day to eat consciously that sometimes, I'm just friggin' exhausted by it all. By the end of the day, I am seriously just done. I don't want to think about it anymore. I don't want to track. I don't want to consider what's best for my body. I just want to tune out.

I am actually looking at my evening glass o' fiber as a nice final "snack" for the day. It's 90 calories. It fills me up. It temporarily 'slays' that mindless munching demon possessing the recesses of my mind.

I don't need a trainer...I need Giles. Ugh.

Anyway, I think my eating and fitness habits are actually ahead of my body. It's like I've reached the finish line with my lifestyle and my body is just struggling to catch up. I am also afraid that if I eat more or work out less, the balance I've struck will all fall to shit.

Maybe I should just keep on keepin' on. Maybe the muscle I'm building week by week will boost my metabolism eventually and this will all balance out on my terms.

Regardless, I feel better. I look better. I'm more in control. The weight will come off eventually and I know it. And, as my body shrinks, the amount of calories I burn when working out will go down - helping to smooth this disparity out.

Eventually.

(P.S. - Extra brownie veggie points to the geek who caught the first Buffy reference in this post.)